Pursuing the MIDP as a Parent: Is it Possible to Balance Family and Graduate School?

For many mid-career professionals, the decision to return to school comes with an important question: Can I balance grad school and a family? In Duke Sanford’s Master of International Development Policy (MIDP) program, the answer from many students is a resounding yes. The key is having intention, support, and a strong sense of purpose.

Two current MIDP fellows, Lilian Villanova Vogt and Andrés Parraguirre, are navigating the program as international students while raising young children. Their experiences offer a candid look at both the challenges and the rewards of pursuing graduate education as a parent.

Andrés Parraguirre and family in Durham.

Lilian Villanova Vogt and family in a conference room in the Sanford School.

A Decision Rooted in Purpose

For Lilian, the idea of pursuing graduate education while raising children wasn’t new—it was part of her story.

Growing up, she watched her own mother return to school and earn advanced degrees while raising a family. So even as she considered the added challenge of moving to a new country, that example stayed with her and gave her confidence.

Lilian and three children sitting on steps, Duke Chapel — Lilian with family on steps near Duke Chapel.

“Juggling motherhood, student life, and professional responsibilities has always been a core part of my adult life. I knew I could do it.”

For Andrés, the decision was inseparable from his family.

“I couldn’t even think about being here without my family. They are my rock, my support, my motivation.”

His goal in pursuing the MIDP is clear: to advance his career and create better opportunities for his family. That clarity has helped guide difficult decisions, including relocating with his wife and young daughter so he wouldn’t miss important moments at home.

Balancing Competing Priorities

Balancing graduate school and family life is not easy, and both students are upfront about that.

At the start of the program, Andrés wasn’t sure how he would manage everything. In addition to coursework, he worked during most of his time in the program and took on extra credits, increasing the workload.

Yet, having his family nearby made a difference:

“I was able to perform better because of their support… I was not alone during the challenging times, the deadlines, and the winter.”

Lilian echoes the reality of the challenge, especially being far from home with an extended support network. But she also highlights a mindset shift that helps make it sustainable: accepting that balance isn’t about perfection, it’s about persistence and adaptability.

Making It Meaningful for the Whole Family

For both students, the MIDP experience extends beyond the classroom and beyond the individual.

Lilian sees the experience as transformative not only for herself, but for her children:

“It’s truly special to see your children experience new places, languages, habits, and cultures while they are still in their formative years.”

What might feel like a logistical challenge—relocating, adjusting routines—can also become a shared family opportunity for growth, curiosity, and global awareness.

For Andrés, integrating family into the experience has been essential:

“If you include your family in the journey instead of separating the two worlds, it becomes not just manageable, but meaningful.”

A Built-In Support System

One of the defining features of the MIDP program is its community, something both students point to as critical in making the experience possible.

“You will not be or feel alone,” Lilian says. “That sense of community makes all the difference.”

The cohort brings together professionals from around the world, many of whom are navigating similar life stages and responsibilities. That shared understanding creates an environment where students support one another academically and personally.

Kristen Acquilino, MIDP director of international student and academic services, emphasizes that this is by design:

“The heart of the MIDP program is our vibrant student community. We are so fortunate to bring together experienced, curious, ambitious professionals who are dedicated to audaciously examining global policy questions.

Knowing the dynamic community we serve means honoring the holistic student experience. The MIDP program aims to create an academic structure that is both rigorous and flexible—one that supports students with partners, families, and personal pursuits alongside their studies.”

This includes everything from inclusive learning environments to social opportunities and a program structure that allows students to adapt as their needs evolve.

Redefining What’s Possible

Pursuing a graduate degree as a parent requires trade-offs, resilience, and careful planning. But as these MIDP fellows demonstrate, it can also be one of the most meaningful decisions for both career growth and family life.

Rather than putting life on hold, many MIDP students are expanding it by bringing their families along for the journey and redefining what’s possible at mid-career.

Advice for Prospective Students

For those considering the MIDP while managing family responsibilities, both students offer grounded, practical advice:

Be clear about your “why.” A strong sense of purpose will help guide decisions and sustain motivation.
Plan strategically. Look for opportunities early and think ahead about how to structure your time and commitments.
Lean on your support system. Whether it’s family, classmates, or faculty, you don’t have to do it alone.
Make it a shared experience. Bringing your family into the experience can make it more fulfilling and sustainable.

As Andrés puts it:

“Balancing family and graduate school is not easy, but it’s possible with intention and support.”

Video: Full-time grad student + full-time mom, a day in the life

Q&A with Lilian & Andres

What motivated you to pursue the MIDP at Duke as a parent?

Lilian: Growing up, I saw my own mother pursue higher education while raising her children; she went to college when I was about 10 years old and later earned a master’s degree and a doctorate in Education, which truly inspired me. I had my first two children while I was in college as well, and juggling motherhood, student life, and professional responsibilities has always been a core part of my adult life. I knew I could do it again, even though it is harder this time, being away from my country and my support network.

Andres: I couldn’t even think about being here without my family. They are my rock, my support, my motivation. I came to Sanford with the purpose of advancing in my career and creating a better life for my family. Despite the challenges and uncertainties, I’m sure it’s the right direction.

At the beginning, I wasn’t sure how I was going to balance everything. I just knew I needed to make it happen. Some people even suggested bringing my family in my second year, but I knew that was not an option for me. If I did, half of my mind would be here and half in Vietnam thinking about my wife and baby. My daughter had just turned one, and I definitely wouldn’t miss this stage of her life when she grows and develops so fast.

Somehow, I’m grateful for studying because it gave me flexibility to be with them longer. However, I also needed to work. I worked three out of my four semesters and took extra credits during those semesters, which made it even more challenging. Thankfully, I always had their support to make it happen.

What Makes this experience worthwhile for you and your family?

Lilian: It’s truly special to see your children experience new places, languages, habits, and cultures while they are still in their formative years. I didn’t have that experience as a child, but as an adult, I’ve come to deeply appreciate the possibilities, mindset shifts, and openness that emerge when we encounter the unknown and the unexpected. I can only imagine how much their horizons will be broadened by experiences like this.

Andres: Sanford is more than just classes. It’s the people, the events, the exposure. Making the most of the school — and of Duke — is important. There are so many opportunities to take advantage of.

Coming to study with my family was a great decision. I was able to perform better because of their support, and I always had great motivation to come back home. I was not alone during the challenging times, the deadlines, and the winter.

I’m deeply grateful for them, and I know I wouldn’t have done this without them.

What advice would you give others considering the MIDP at a similar stage of life?

Lilian: I won’t say it’s not challenging, but it is definitely worthwhile. One of the special features of the MIDP is the truly unique cohort: people from all over the world, at different stages of life, with diverse and extraordinary backgrounds. You will not be or feel alone, and that sense of community makes all the difference in staying motivated.

Andres: Find the opportunities early. Be wise, be strategic, and go for it.

Balancing family and graduate school is not easy, but it’s possible with intention and support. If you’re clear about why you’re here, and you include your family in the journey instead of separating the two worlds, it becomes not just manageable, but meaningful.